scrambled brain

Lately, I feel like the only way I can communicate with a modicum of success is by typing it out. Blogging, Facebook updates, emails, texts - any form of communication where my brain only has to work as fast as my fingers can type, rather than try to keep up with my tongue (I certainly don't mean that to sound wickedly naughty, although it kinda does). Also, I've yet to come up with a verbal equivalent of  <--Backspace.

Aside: I just opened a new tab to look up a word in a thesaurus, and my browser (Google Chrome) prompted me to try this game called Entanglement. That distracted me for a good 15 minutes. And then I forgot what I had opened the new tab for in the first place.

Okay, where was I?

Right. Typing versus talking.

You see, my mind is decidedly non-linear. The path from A to B in my brain is full of forks, loop-de-loops, detours, one way streets, dead ends...

Ask my husband. He gets a little exasperated trying to follow my train of thought sometimes. We'll often have conversations like the following:

He: Did you take the trash out?
Me: Yeah... Hey, remember when I was in labor and I said that one thing to you while you were checking your email and we both laughed? What was that?
He: I have no idea what you're talking about.
Me: You remember. It was something that was on that list that Sara gave us, and we both laughed, which was good because I think it was about the time that I was starting to regret letting you get me into that whole labor situation in the first place. Remember?

...minutes pass while I try to remember, and he resumes whatever it was he was doing in the first place...

Me: Remember?
He: What?
Me: Remember that list that Sara gave us of things that might be helpful for you to say to me during labor, like, 'oh, honey, you're so beautiful and I love you so much because you're an amazing woman who's about to have my love child?'

...several more minutes pass while I try to remember, and he continues doing his thing...

Me: Oh. I remember. I said, 'Keep on keepin' on.' Remember? Because that was the thing on the list that we thought was hilarious because you would never ever really say that in real life. 'Keep on keepin' on.'You know... Like Matthew McConaughey in Dazed and Confused. Or did he say, 'Just keep livin'?'
He: Right.
Me: Hey, it's garbage day tomorrow. Did you take the trash out?
He: {head explodes}
I've really always sort of been this way, but I used to be able to rein it in a little. Now, not so much.

I'm pretty sure it is related to the amount of time I spend using my brain to form complex thoughts nowadays. Don't get me wrong. I know that being a SAHM is a very important job, and I certainly do enjoy it or I'd be back in the corporate world in a flash; but hanging out with a pre-verbal infant/toddler/little dude all day isn't exactly intellectually stimulating.

I guess my point is that if you know me in real life, and you met me at some point during or after my pregnancy, I hope that you don't think I'm a stammering idiot. I have been known to form intelligent thoughts now and again.

It's just been a while since it's happened verbally.

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